J.R. Tschopp (a writer/movie guy) wrote this. Why he put it out for public consumption is beyond me.
The Greatest Menace to our Planet
I hate green beans. Hate them. I hate them with such a fiery passion that if it were up to me, all traces of this vile veggie would be eradicated from the face of the Earth.
Of course, that concerns me: what if green beans exist beyond this world? The last thing I'd want/need would be space green beans coming to this planet to wreak vengeance for the extermination of their terrestrial cousin. The cosmic, radioactive, colossal green beans would walk the streets destroying all in their path. Mankind would fight back, but let's admit it: we have no known armaments to annihilate the angry agriculture of alien asteroids once they have arrived in our arena. Alarming, isn't it?
No, I fear that as much as I would like to crusade against Earth green beans, the threat of a veggie menace from beyond the stars is too great. And so, as much as I despise them - they taste like feet! - for the good of my species and the love of my planet, I will allow them to exist. For now...
Maybe it's just a literary stretch before he gets to the real writing?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
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